Fun Stuff: July 2010

Saturday, July 31, 2010

1 line humor –****no fun, its serious*

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other

is the husband!

[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted

cash.

[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new

school uniforms.

[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live

without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the

same person.

[16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up

with the same boss.

[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they

have to say something

[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!

[22] Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.

[23]Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like

two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

[24]Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

[25]It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking

someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

[26]There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

[27]There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!

Funny Cats

World's Easiest Quiz

WORLD'S EASIEST QUIZ!
(Passing requires only 3 correct answers out of 10!)
Only total thicko's will fail !!

1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?

2) Which country makes Panama hats?

3) From which animal do we get cat gut?

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?

7) What was King George VI's first name?

8) What color is a purple finch?

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?

Remember, you need only 3 correct answers to P ass.

Check your answers below.

ANSWERS
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last ? 116 years

2) Which country makes Panama hats ? Ecuador

3) From which animal do we get cat gut ? Sheep and Horses

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution ? November

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of ? Squirrel fur

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal ? Dogs

7) What was King George VI's first name ? Albert

8) What color is a purple finch ? Crimson

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from ? New Zealand

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane ? Orange (of course!)

What do you mean, you failed?!!

Me, too...!!!

(And if you try to tell me you passed, you lie!)

Pass this on to some "brilliant" people, so that they may feel useless too!

Warning: LAPTOP users

You may have heard that a good friend of ours in Mequon lost their 25 year old son (Arun Gopal Ratnam) in a fire at home June 4th. This is what happened.

He graduated with MBA from University of Wisconsin-Madison two weeks earlier and came home. Had a lunch with his dad at home and decided to go back to to clean up his room at school. Father told him to wait and see his mother before he goes back for a few days. He decided to take a snooze while waiting for his mom to come home from work.

Neighbors called 911 when they saw black smoke coming out of the house. Their 25 year old son Arun died in the three year old house. It took several days of investigation to find out the cause of the fire.

It was determined that the fire was caused by lap top in the bed. When the lap top is on the bed cooling fan does not get air to cool the computer and that is what caused the fire. He did not even wake up to get out of the bed he died of carbon monoxide.

The reason I am writing this to all of you is that I have seen all of us using our lap top in bed. Let us all decide and make it a practice not to do that. Risk is real. Let us make it a rule not to use lap top in bed or put computer on bed with blankets and pillows around.

Laughter: The Best Medicine

And there's lots of evidence that laughter does lots of good things for us.

Scientists have found that laughter is a form of internal "jogging" that exercises the body
and stimulates the release of beneficial brain neurotransmitters and hormones.
Positive outlook and laughter is actually good for our health.

Adults laugh approximately 15 times per day, while children laugh about 400 times a day!
When we grew up, somehow we lost a few hundred laughs a day.
By learning to smile and laugh again, more easily and often,
we could have a profound and positive effect on our health and well being.

Psychiatrist Robert Holden says,
"Smiling and laughing produce happy chemicals called endorphins which work in the brain
to give an overall feeling of well-being."

Being unhappy or very sad can seriously damage your health.
So .......don't worry, be happy!

Little Johnny

It was little Johnny's first day in a new school, so his father looked up the teacher.
He told her that little Johnny was a good kid but that he was an avid gambler.
He warned her that little Johnny might win lunch money from the other kids
if he was not watched closely.

The teacher did not seem disturbed,
assured the father that she had handled many such problems
and was very capable of taking care of little Johnny's urge to gamble.

Shortly after lunch, the father called the teacher
and asked her how things were going.

"Oh, everything is going very well."
She said. "I think I may have cured little Johnny of his gambling habit."

The father asked her what had happened.

"The little tyke absolutely insisted on betting me ten dollars that I had a mole on my rear."
She said. "I finally agreed to the bet and took him to the teacher's toilet to show him that I had no mole."

"Damn!" The father said.

"He bet me fifty dollars this morning that he would see the teacher's ass before the day was over."

"Laugh Everyone Laugh"

Advertisement In A Long Island Shop:

Guitar, for sale........ Cheap....... . .......no strings attached.

Ad In Hospital Waiting Room:

Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!

On a bulletin board:

Success Is Relative. The more The Success, The more The Relatives.

My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses....

He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.
Sign In A Bar:

'Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please do Pay In Advance.'
Sign In Driving School:

If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way....
Behind Every Great Man,

There Is A Surprised Woman.
The Reason Men Lie Is Because

Women Ask too Many Questions..
Laugh And The World Laughs With You,

Snore And You sleep Alone
Sign At A Barber's Saloon In Detroit :

We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business..
Sign In A Restaurant:

All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

snowboard....smsrace ....smoking in bed

Time for a Chuckle

Religious husband

A HUSBAND COMES HOME FROM CHURCH; HE GREETS HIS WIFE AND LIFTS HER UP. HE THEN CARRIED HER AROUND THE HOUSE.

THE WIFE WAS SO SURPRISED AND SHE ASKED "DID THE BISHOP PREACH ABOUT BEING ROMANTIC"?

THE HUSBAND SAID, "NO, HE SAID WE MUST CARRY OUR BURDENS AND SORROWS."

Reactions :: World Cup Fans

Amazing Painting Of A Blind Artist.

The story of this blind artist is extraordinary and unbelievable. Professional CPA with a photographic memory, Lisa Fittipaldi lost her vision due to a vascular disease in 1993. She lost her job too, but overcame blindness and began painting in 1995. Her paintings are so colorful and bright; it's hard to believe that they were drawn by a blind person who can't even see colors or distance. The main challenge to Lisa was when she was told she could never create complex scenes of everyday life with people as main characters. But she managed to do so, and today her paintings are exhibited in museums and galleries around the world. Fittipaldi is a unique artist with an amazing inner vision. You can judge for yourself after the jump.

Expect the unexpected

We are reminded everyday that life is nothing……

Watch the man on the left walking, crossing the road where there is no car.

It is so definite that the coast on the left is clear, and safe to cross.
Any person would see it is safe... .
Take nothing for granted, not even for a split second! Be grateful for every living minute

VIDEO CAPTURED BY TRAFFIC CAMERA !!!!
'Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets,
So love the people who treat you right,
Forget about the ones who don't,
And believe that everything happens for a reason.
If you get a chance, take it..
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy,
They just promised it would be worth living.'

Faith can move mountains

Lateral Thinking.

Good one to crack your brains ....
Just a little something to keep your mind active:
LATERAL THINKING OR THINKING OUTSIDE OF THE BOX

The first 4 images are the questions and the answers are given at the end.

Please do not look at the answers first, these are really good, try it out.

Question 1

Question 2

Question 3

Question 4

ANSWERS

* 1. The last person took the basket with the egg in it.

* 2. All the other cardplayers were women.

* 3. Pour the juice from the second glass into the fifth.

* 4. The recluse lived in a lighthouse.