Arab Student

Arab student sends an e-mail to his Dad saying:
Dear Dad,
 
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but  Dad, I am bit ashamed to arrive to my college with my Gold Mercedes, when all myTeachers travel by train.


 Your Son
 Nasser

 ------------ --------- --------- -------------------------------------
 Sometime later Nasser gets reply to his e-mail from his Dad:
 ----------------------------------------------------------

 Loving son,

Twenty Million Dollars transferred to your account, please 
stop embarrassing us, go and get yourself a train too.

 Your Dad

The Hippopotamus and the Tortoise. A Very Touching story and a good message!!The Hippopotamus and the Tortoise. A Very Touching story and a good message!!

Much of life
can never be explained, only witnessed.'
- Rachel Naomi Remen, MD 

NAIROBI (AFP) - A baby hippopotamus 
that survived the tsunami waves on the Kenyan coast, has formed a strong 
bond with a giant male century-old tortoise in an animal facility in 
the port city of Mombassa , officials said. 

The hippopotamus, 
nicknamed Owen and weighing about 300 kilograms (650 pounds), was swept down 
Sabaki   River into the Indian Ocean , then forced back to shore when 
tsunami waves struck the Kenyan coast on December 26, before wildlife rangers 
rescued him.

 

 

'It is incredible. A-less-than-a-year-old
hippo has adopted a male tortoise, about a century old, and the tortoise seems
to be very happy with being a 'mother',' ecologist Paula Kahumbu, who is
in charge of Lafarge Park , told AFP.

'After it was swept away and lost its mother,
the hippo was traumatized. It had to look for something to be a surrogate
mother. Fortunately, it landed on the tortoise and established a strong bond. 

They swim, eat and sleep together,' the ecologist
added.

'The hippo follows the tortoise exactly the way it followed
its mother. If somebody approaches the tortoise, the hippo becomes
aggressive, as if protecting its biological mother,' Kahumbu added. 

 

'The hippo is a young baby, he was left at a 
very tender age and by nature, hippos are social animals that like to stay with 
their mothers for four years,' he explained. 

'Life is not measured by the number of 
breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.' 

This is a real story that shows that our
differences don't matter much when we need the comfort of another

 

 The greatness of humanity is not in being human, but in being humane. 

Cucumber

The Amazing Cucumber

This information was in The New York Times several
weeks ago as part of their "Spotlight on the Home"
series that highlighted creative and fanciful ways to
solve common problems.

 

1. Cucumbers contain most of the vitamins you need
every day, just one cucumber contains Vitamin B1,
Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3, Vitamin B5, Vitamin B6,
Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium,
Phosphorus, Potassium and Zinc.

2. Feeling tired in the afternoon, put down the
caffeinated soda and pick up a cucumber. Cucumbers
are a good source of B Vitamins and Carbohydrates
that can provide that quick pick-me-up that can last
for hours.

3. Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up after a
shower? Try rubbing a cucumber slice along the
mirror, it will eliminate the fog and provide a
soothing, spa-like fragrance.

4. Are grubs and slugs ruining your planting beds?
Place a few slices in a small pie tin and your garden
will be free of pests all season long. The chemicals in
the cucumber react with the aluminum to give off a
scent undetectable to humans but drive garden pests
crazy and make them flee the area.

5. Looking for a fast and easy way to remove cellulite
before going out or to the pool? Try rubbing a slice or
two of cucumbers along your problem area for a few
minutes, the phytochemicals in the cucumber cause
the collagen in your skin to tighten, firming up the
outer layer and reducing the visibility of cellulite.
Works great on wrinkles too!!!

6. Want to avoid a hangover or terrible headache?
Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed and
wake up refreshed and headache free. Cucumbers
contain enough sugar, B vitamins and electrolytes to
replenish essential nutrients the body lost, keeping
everything in equilibrium, avoiding both a hangover
and headache!!

7. Looking to fight off that afternoon or evening
snacking binge? Cucumbers have been used for
centuries and often used by European trappers,
traders and explores for quick meals to thwart off
starvation.

8. Have an important meeting or job interview and
you realize that you don't have enough time to polish
your shoes? Rub a freshly cut cucumber over the
shoe, its chemicals will provide a quick and durable
shine that not only looks great but also repels water.

9. Out of WD 40 and need to fix a squeaky hinge?
Take a cucumber slice and rub it along the
problematic hinge, and voila, the squeak is gone!

10. Stressed out and don't have time for massage,
facial or visit to the spa? Cut up an entire cucumber
and place it in a boiling pot of water, the chemicals
and nutrients from the cucumber with react with
the boiling water and be released in the steam,
creating a soothing, relaxing aroma that has been
shown the reduce stress in new mothers and college
students during final exams.

11. Just finish a business lunch and realize you don't
have gum or mints? Take a slice of cucumber and
press it to the roof of your mouth with your tongue
for 30 seconds to eliminate bad breath, the
phytochemcials will kill the bacteria in your mouth
responsible for causing bad breath.

12. Looking for a 'green' way to clean your faucets,
sinks or stainless steel? Take a slice of cucumber and
rub it on the surface you want to clean, not only will
it remove years of tarnish and bring back the shine,
but is won't leave streaks and won't harm you fingers
or fingernails while you clean.

13. Using a pen and made a mistake? Take the outside
of the cucumber and slowly use it to erase the pen
writing, also works great on crayons and markers that
the kids have used to decorate the walls!!

Pass this along to everybody you know who is looking
for better and safer ways to solve life's everyday
problems..

1 line humor –****no fun, its serious*

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

 [3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other 

       is the husband! 

[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted 

     cash. 

[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new 

      school uniforms.

[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent. 

[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live 

      without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

  

[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
 

[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
 

 [15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the 

       same person.
 

[16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up 

       with the same boss.

[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they 

        have to say something
 

[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets  to speak! 

[22] Man: Is there any way for long life?
 Dr: Get married.
 Man: Will it help?
 Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.

[23]Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like 

       two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
 

[24]Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
       Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
 

[25]It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking 

      someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

[26]There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
 

[27]There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!

Funny Cats

World's Easiest Quiz

WORLD'S EASIEST QUIZ!
(Passing requires only 3 correct answers out of 10!)
Only total thicko's will fail !!

1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?

2) Which country makes Panama hats?

3) From which animal do we get cat gut?

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?

7) What was King George VI's first name?

8) What color is a purple finch?

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?

Remember, you need only 3 correct answers to  P ass.

Check your answers below.

ANSWERS
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last ? 116 years

2) Which country makes Panama hats ? Ecuador

3) From which animal do we get cat gut ? Sheep and Horses

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution ? November

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of ? Squirrel fur

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal ? Dogs

7) What was King George VI's first name ? Albert

8) What color is a purple finch ? Crimson

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from ? New Zealand

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane ? Orange (of course!)

What do you mean, you failed?!!

Me, too...!!!

(And if you try to tell me you passed, you lie!)

Pass this on to some "brilliant" people, so that they may feel useless too!

Warning: LAPTOP users

You may have heard that a good friend of ours in Mequon lost their 25 year old son (Arun Gopal Ratnam) in a fire at home June 4th. This is what happened.


He graduated with MBA from University of Wisconsin-Madison two weeks earlier and came home. Had a lunch with his dad at home and decided to go back to to clean up his room at school. Father told him to wait and see his mother before he goes back for a few days. He decided to take a snooze while waiting for his mom to come home from work.


Neighbors called 911 when they saw black smoke coming out of the house. Their 25 year old son Arun died in the three year old house. It took several days of investigation to find out the cause of the fire.


It was determined that the fire was caused by lap top in the bed. When the lap top is on the bed cooling fan does not get air to cool the computer and that is what caused the fire. He did not even wake up to get out of the bed he died of carbon monoxide.


The reason I am writing this to all of you is that I have seen all of us using our lap top in bed. Let us all decide and make it a practice not to do that. Risk is real. Let us make it a rule not to use lap top in bed or put computer on bed with blankets and pillows around.

Laughter: The Best Medicine

And there's lots of evidence that laughter does lots of good things for us.

Scientists have found that laughter is a form of internal "jogging" that exercises the body
and stimulates the release of beneficial brain neurotransmitters and hormones.
Positive outlook and laughter is actually good for our health.

Adults laugh approximately 15 times per day, while children laugh about 400 times a day!
When we grew up, somehow we lost a few hundred laughs a day.
 By learning to smile and laugh again, more easily and often,
 we could have a profound and positive effect on our health and well being.

Psychiatrist Robert Holden says,
"Smiling and laughing produce happy chemicals called endorphins which work in the brain
to give an overall feeling of well-being."

Being unhappy or very sad can seriously damage your health.
So .......don't worry, be happy!


Little Johnny

It was little Johnny's first day in a new school, so his father looked up the teacher.
He told her that little Johnny was a good kid but that he was an avid gambler.
He warned her that little Johnny might win lunch money from the other kids
if he was not watched closely.

The teacher did not seem disturbed,
assured the father that she had handled many such problems
and was very capable of taking care of little Johnny's urge to gamble.

Shortly after lunch, the father called the teacher
and asked her how things were going.

"Oh, everything is going very well."
 She said. "I think I may have cured little Johnny of his gambling habit."

The father asked her what had happened.

"The little tyke absolutely insisted on betting me ten dollars that I had a mole on my rear."
She said. "I finally agreed to the bet and took him to the teacher's toilet to show him that I had no mole."

"Damn!" The father said.

"He bet me fifty dollars this morning that he would see the teacher's ass before the day was over."

"Laugh Everyone Laugh"

Advertisement In A Long Island Shop:   Guitar, for sale........ Cheap....... . .......no strings attached. Ad In Hospital Waiting Room:  Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!   On a bulletin board:  Success Is Relative. The more The Success, The more The Relatives.

My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses....

He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.
Sign In A Bar:

'Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please do Pay In Advance.'
Sign In Driving School:

If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way....
Behind Every Great Man,

There Is A Surprised Woman.
The Reason Men Lie Is Because

Women Ask too Many Questions..
Laugh And The World Laughs With You,

Snore And You sleep Alone
Sign At A Barber's Saloon In Detroit :

We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business..
Sign In A Restaurant: 

All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.

snowboard....smsrace ....smoking in bed