Monday, February 15, 2010

One liners ... Antenna

1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

4. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

5. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

6. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
"A beer please, and one for the road."

7. Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

8. A man complains, "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
"That's the Tom Jones Syndrome," explains the doc.
"Is it common?" asks the man.
"It's Not Unusual," says the doc.

9. Two cows are standing in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.

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